This feed contains the 10 most recent pages in the "bisexuality" category.

The same question can really be asked about any action. Why do we do what we do, why do we make certain big decisions.

In my case, it's about coming out as poly and as bisexual, and it's currently happening at an increasing speed, or so it feels to me. As I've said earlier, part of it is a boost from my experience with Europride, but that's hardly all, this has been a slowly ongoing process that's kind of blooming right now.

The very basic driving force behind coming out is that I do not want to live a closed life any more. I do not want to worry about who knows what about me. I do not want to hide who I am. The only way I know to resolve this is to open up, to tell people around me who I am, and to acknowledge it for myself when doing so. This is all the more important when I find myself in situations where I end up being scared of consequences.

Posted Aug 11, 2008 11:31:14 PM +0200 | Tags: bisexuality

While coming out as poly at work was fairly easy, coming out as bisexual is harder.

Some may remember that I mentioned a man that's homophobic because he's been abused by a gay man... Unfortunately, that's a coworker, and he has also told me that he can get pretty aggressive against gay men, even for something as innocent as a pat on the back.

Today, he asked me about this rainbow bracelet that I wear (I got it in Pride Park two weekends ago), and I went on telling him the poly folks are considering themselves queer. And this was the moment when I felt my heart sink, since I knew full well that I was hiding behind the poly lable. Later on, my body reacted, I was dizzy for a couple of hours.

So yeah, this man scares me. The thought of how he could react when he gets to know about my bisexuality scares me.

Charlie asked me what would be the worst that could happen. Being marginalised, frozen out, perhaps having work-related actions started against me, bullied. Those are the things that scare me. She reminded me, though, that there are good anti-discimination laws in Sweden. It felt very good to be reminded.

There are two possible courses of action, really; 1) to simply bite the bullet and say what I have to say and take up any reactions with my team leader, or 2) start with talking with the team leader about my concerns (which is the way I've been recommended).

Of course, there's the question of why I want to tell at all. In this specific case, there's the additional matter that the man in question seems to be very curious about people around him, I've met very few coworkers who have taken such an interest in who I am. Point is, he's going to find out either way, and I believe it's better if it comes directly from me one way or another.
(actually, considering this blog is completely public, I'm surprised this guy hasn't found out yet... and yeah, he knows I'm blogging)

Posted Aug 11, 2008 11:08:32 PM +0200 | Tags: bisexuality

Stockholm/Euro Pride is nearing and I'm getting a bit excited, as this is the first time I'll attend (and help out as well). Got the ticket already!

Damn, there's a number of things to do and to handle, and it seems like I've a number of friends have decided to come for a visit to Stockholm at the same time. I really need to sort it all out so I don't get overwhelmed!

Let's see, I've a friend from Malmö that comes up to visit, I've tagged July 24th for him if he wants to hang out with me then. Åsa is coming up with a love from Malmö. smilla has just declared that she's coming as well. Oh, and I just got the news that another friend is visiting, from South Africa (he's lived in Sweden for a large number of years but moved back to SA not long ago).

I'll have my social life filled, let me tell ya! Anyway, I hope it'll be fun. I just hope I'll have some breathing space too ;-).

So, what do I plan to do, really? Uhmm, check out the cultural side in the beginning of pride, go to a number of seminars (mostly about polyamory, but I've seen a few more on political issues and one about the issues with being aspie and queer (!)), and mingle at Pride Park when I don't help out in the Poly tent or elsewhere.

But hey, it's still more than a week away, plans will firm up as time goes, and I do want to spend time with Charlie as well, never to be forgotten.

Posted Jul 15, 2008 4:39:01 PM +0200 | Tags: bisexuality

So I've been pondering this for a while now, and still don't know. It started a few months ago at a gathering, when I couldn't stop looking at this guy. Words like "handsome", "beautiful" and others popped in my mind, and while I was a bit surprised, I stayed open to the experience. I'll admit, I was probably gawking (or is that oogling? I haven't quite grasped those words yet).

Since then, I've been thinking, is this another step of discovery of myself? After all, I've usually been quite accepting of other males' approaches. I've often described myself as "straight and playful", and I once set off an openly bisexual man's gaydar. So I'm wondering, maybe I've fooled myself all these years, and there's really yet another side of me to discover...

I dunno...

So for the moment being, I'm considering myself in-discovery-maybe-bisexual-not-yet-out-of-the-closet. After all, I might end up finding that I'm still "straight and playful", and that I simply am able to appreciate beauty regardless of gender without prejudice about what it might mean.

Following my usual pattern, I should probably do some experimenting to figure out where my limits are. Might be a bit tough, though, as I'm currently in a committed monoamorous relationship. Maybe I should simply be satisfied with the current status and simply figure it out by thinking about it and using my imagination. Question is, will whatever experiments I can do in my mind be close enough to the truth and not just fantasies that aren't more than exactly that?

Oh well, I'll figure it out, in due time...

Posted Sep 2, 2005 8:29:20 AM +0200 | Tags: bisexuality

To see all of them, check the archive-bisexuality.

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