So I've been pondering this for a while now, and still don't know. It started a few months ago at a gathering, when I couldn't stop looking at this guy. Words like "handsome", "beautiful" and others popped in my mind, and while I was a bit surprised, I stayed open to the experience. I'll admit, I was probably gawking (or is that oogling? I haven't quite grasped those words yet).

Since then, I've been thinking, is this another step of discovery of myself? After all, I've usually been quite accepting of other males' approaches. I've often described myself as "straight and playful", and I once set off an openly bisexual man's gaydar. So I'm wondering, maybe I've fooled myself all these years, and there's really yet another side of me to discover...

I dunno...

So for the moment being, I'm considering myself in-discovery-maybe-bisexual-not-yet-out-of-the-closet. After all, I might end up finding that I'm still "straight and playful", and that I simply am able to appreciate beauty regardless of gender without prejudice about what it might mean.

Following my usual pattern, I should probably do some experimenting to figure out where my limits are. Might be a bit tough, though, as I'm currently in a committed monoamorous relationship. Maybe I should simply be satisfied with the current status and simply figure it out by thinking about it and using my imagination. Question is, will whatever experiments I can do in my mind be close enough to the truth and not just fantasies that aren't more than exactly that?

Oh well, I'll figure it out, in due time...