After lots of talking, after putting all my emotions on display as clearly as possible, I've finally realised that what I wanted is just not possible, there is no reciprocity on that level for at least the foreseeable future.

So, in spite of all the thought of not giving up, there is a point where one may have to, where continuing is destructive and just pushes away what I still want in life. I did give it a good try, though.

So I change path. Emotions still there in the big scheme of thing, but redirected toward friendship only.

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