I've heard so many discussions going like "monoamory is this while polyamory is that", and I'm getting increasingly tired of it.

I've heard things like "poly is about sex" followed by a definition of relationships where sex is seen as a glue that keeps it together. Well, d'uh, in that case, mono is about sex as well.

We keep tossing arguments at each other that are really nonsensen, trying to make ourselves better than the other.
We get to see the 12 pillars of polyamory about all the virtues of polyamory, and there's probably something similar about all the virtues of monoamory...

And noone asks the question, the true question that underlies it all.

What is a relationship?

After all, that should be the basic thing to ask oneself. What is a relationship to you? Ask yourself that, in depth.
When you're done, you can start asking yourself if that's something you want to or are open to share with just one or with more than one... That's what I believe answers the question if you want to live mono or poly.

After all, it's not about sex. It's about relationships, which usually includes sex (not for asexuals, though), but isn't just about that, or rather, which is much more than just that.

Now, I'd so much love to see someone write "the NN pillars of relationships" and have that made in a neutral form that leaves the reader to choose between all available relationship forms, be it monoamory, polyamory, relationship anarchy or what not.

Let's stop this ridiculous battle and be truly open to each other's similarities and differences.

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