I've said this to a few people in the last few days; when it comes to relationships, I feel very much at home, more than I can remember having felt before. I feel a little uneasy quantifying it like that, but on the other hand, a large part of it may as well be that I have changed over time, that I know very much more what I want and how, and feel much safer expressing my emotions.

This isn't meant to belittle anyone who was with me before. I appreciate each path that I've shared and what I have learned along that path, and I can only hope that my previous companions can find something to appreciate as well.

A crucial part of feeling at home is that I currently live a polyamorous relationship, defined as such from the get go. My primary relationship is with Charlie, and there's another forming in steps.

This conforms with my thoughts that love is endless, unlimited.

I feel sorry for the man who has an open relationship with a woman, and gets jealous when the woman opens up to another to the point that he ruins his relationship and ends up getting rejected by her.

I feel sorry for the man who was imposed sex by a homosexual man and ends up projecting the act on all homosexuals with hatred.

I feel sorry for all those who are consumed by ghosts in their minds and do not know the way out.

I feel sorry...

Imagine all the people
Living life in peace...

I've said it before and I'll say it again, it's good to have friends (which includes loved ones). I got to talk, I got to be vulnerable and have it witnessed, I got to process, there was love, there was kind words, there was comfort.

I got to realise what the feel of loss, the disconnectedness, the desperation and clinginess were about. I miss my son! This is an old pattern, except this is the first time there was this sense of hopelessness. Previous times, I've simply seeked love a bit more than usual after him and I leaving each other, like the times I travel back to Sweden...

I feel very fragile today, and the world around me seems to reflect that in various ways. The train system has an error, I'm damn late for work, and all I could think was that I wanted to run back home and crawl back to bed, into the arms of my love.

I feel lost, disconnected on this train with just strangers who will of course not speak to me (reality: I'm not speaking to them), disconnected from everyone and everything I love.
I feel clingy and desperate and want to surround myself with people who can catch me, comfort me, hold me until I'm whole again, because I feel like I'm falling.
I feel a strong need to reconnect.