a separate update with focus on work

For about a year and a half, I've worked entirely from home, sitting at my home desk, just me and the laptop. Focused as much as I can...

... and it's been horrible.

At times, I've thought that it was the work itself... but I'm not entirely convinced that's really it.

However, something I've come to realise is how much of a social animal I am. There's this craving for interacting with other humans when truly eats me up when I'm alone too much. You can imagine in what state I am after having been home alone... really, STUCK at home alone for something like three days. I go crazy.

So the last few months, I've been thinking of what I can do to alleviate this, to have other humans to interact with and expand my horizons, do something other than just computing. I got inspired by a few friends, and figured that driving a cab could be a good option.

I signed up for the required education last month, and it looks good so far. I passed one of the tests last friday, two more to go plus a driving test.

Does it mean that I'm giving up computing entirely? While I've contemplated doing so, I don't really think so. But it's obvious I need something else as well, at least for a while.

You know how you sometimes can get in such a state of fury that your whole body is shaking and you have a hard time typing on a keyboard because your hands are shaking so bad? I seldom get in such a state, but I did today, just because my entry card had stopped working (there's a perfectly sane explanation, too!).

It takes a while and some effort to get me to this state, but after repeated stupid shit happening in this working place and around this particular project, I finally got there.

I'm taking this as a sign from the universe, telling me I should not work there any more. Besides, there are some problems getting me more days on this project (it currently expires today), which is just another sign.

Today, I've made it quite clear with the project leader that I do not want to work any more on this project (let alone other projects, but he already knows that) after today. I'll spend the rest of the day documenting everything as well as I can.

This place has just become too much, I don't want to go near for quite a while.

(to my friends that live around here: yes, I will still come to Södertälje... let's just not have walks beyond Tom Tits Experiment, 'k?)

Tomorrow and tuesday, I'm spending my days in Södertälje to hopefully do the last few things needed on the project I have over there... It's just been dragging off for so long, I kind of lost touch with it for a bit, and there's really so little left. But finally, the software that I was waiting is in place, I can do some tests against it and verify that all the things I've made work not only in theory but in practice as well.

... or at least this place. Did my last piece, 9 hours of patching server, and I'm tired and just want to rest for a bit, preferably in someone's arms, just to hug and be held.

This is a transition, I'm going to start on a programming project on Monday, and I think I'll need the time in between to release this place that I'm leaving in a few minutes.

*pfew*

Oh yeah, eat a bit. I'm starving!...

There are just a few days left where I currently still work, and I'm feeling quite tired of this place. Or rather, I feel like one of those balloons with a small leak, the air is slipping out slowly and the balloon itself is getting flatter by the minute.

I will finish in style, though, working half the weekend and giving it one last rather large effort. Then I can simply walk away.

I've never really felt like this about a workplace before, not that I can recall.

Last week, I got notified that my current contract will end in the middle of September... this means that I'm in transition and am looking for new assignments/work.

My preference is to do software development, if anyone got something to throw my way. Should you be interested or know of a possibility, please us my CV (also available in swedish)

I'm perfectly willing to telecommute (hey, I'd love that, as a matter of fact!) and to travel as long as I'm mainly in Stockholm, at least for now.

I think I've seen the sense of "the customer is always right" in a new light today. I've witnessed someone waking up earlier than normal to do a job, and when I asked why so early, I got the answer "It's a customer!" (not literally, but that was the basic sense of it), and I caught it as "If the customer says a specific time, then that's when you do it."

Now, I know far from all the facts, so I can't even come close to knowing the truth. It smacks me as a bit curious, though, that so much decision, on a Sunday no less, was left to the customer. I mean, had I heard something like "it was the most practical for all involved", I wouldn't have thought twice about it.

However, this entry isn't really about that specific deal, it's rather about a curiousity on how to relate to a customer, and most of all trying to understand how others relate to customers compared to my own way.

You see, I don't at all buy the old "the customer is always right" mantra. I do think that you always need to listen to a customer's needs and be prepared to answer them the best way you can. It's simly the respectful thing to do, as with any other kind of relationship. However, I don't think it's too much to ask the same kind of respect back, which means that the customer will have to be ready to listen for what I have to say about what they want to do, as well as what I need to do the task with the best quality possible, including timing and how that fits my daily schedule. The rest is negotiation around what's the most practical for everyone involved, myself, the customer's personel, my collegues...

How about you?

I'm starting working again tomorrow (well, today really, since we're past midnight here in Sweden ). I hope I'll be able to get up in time, 6.30am, especially since my sleeping rythm has been quite screwed up lately. And with the rest of life (well, at least my love life) being quite a bit up in the air, I hope I can hold up.

Hmm, that came out worse than it really is. I'm actually quite calm, the process is trickling on as it should, and whatever happens, I thoroughly believe it will be good, even if things don't happen like I believe they should.

It'll be good working again. I'm ready for it, ready to find my work mates again. Life is good, all things considered.

Time for me to go to bed. Good night.

Last week, I decided that I wanted to reduce my work time at AstraZeneca to 4 days a week, to take care of my business, to work on some FLOSS project, or simply to live life. This would start this week and would usually be on fridays.

And how fast it fills! I'll have to be watchful that the time doesn't disappear from what I really intend it to be. This week, I'm planning to use that day to check out an apartment area, to have my car checked (yearly security check, which is overdue) and to find a present for Eva's nephew.

I just realised, though, that I'm tied to a project at work, to be performed this friday. Hmm, to start with a clash, is that a good sign a or bad one? How flexible should I be? Lots of questions to ponder...

Whole crap! Wholy f*cking shit! I've been stressed at work, but this has just become too much! I was already booked for 200% with "highest priority projects" (yeah, that's right, they're all highest priority) and I was on the verge of getting slamed with another project.

Fortunately, I reacted in time and mentioned how overbooked I already was, and someone else is taking care of prioritizing for me. Pfewww, some relief at a level where prioritizing can be done efficiently. I definitely don't want that kind of responsability, it isn't really my job to do that.

Anyhow, that means there are a few things that get slammed instead, including private projects of my own.

I'm thinking on cutting down on other activities, it's just the small matter of choosing what stays and what goes. That's painful.

Oh well, the soap opera goes on. I'll get back in balance...