It's obvious people are reading this diary. What goes around comes around, I guess. It's with a bit of surprise that I just found a signature in the more recent posts from the person mentioned in my last entry that refered to the nickname I gave her in that entry (and that entry only).

What's also obvious is that she only read what she chose to read, and doesn't seem to get that she can't go judging someone she doesn't know, and most certainly can't go around talking about someone's intent unless she has the smallest chance to know it, and then talk about saying the truth. If you claim to speak the truth, lay down real facts and let them speak for themselves, the rest is only speculation.

I want to reiterate the warning that's at the top of each page. This diary is mine to express whatever goes through my mind, soul and heart. If I'm furious, scared or otherwise upset, this diary is my theraputic outlet, and the one place where I allow myself not to be careful (or well, I should, but I still am, there are things I don't write hear either).

As to my fury, I've learned that anger is always connected with guilt, and is always a projection. And of course there was some of that. I know that I've done things that don't look good to others, and I know that I've been living in fear and hidden myself away from all (not physically, but you know what I mean), and I know others hurt seeing that or feeling separated as a result. I still feel guilty about those things, and am still working on releasing it. Writing about it here is one part of the release process.

Just thought of a small detail. I said I would ignore her on that forum, and look what I'm doing! Is this ignoring someone? Nope, I guess I was fooling myself, I still get triggered by the stuff she writes (oh, there are subtle hints in some places, and there's been a bit of subtle banter)... Let's see if I can really ignore her from now on. If not, there's probably more for me to figure out and learn.