Someone asked Charlie if I'm afraid of conflicts.

I know that Lisa would say "Oh god, yeah", because when she and I were together, I was... quite extremely.

I've realised that I still am, when I'm not in my strongest self. In my strongest self, conflict is not difficult, but when I'm frail, it is.

It seems, though, that I can only keep things inside so long, and I will go into conflict even though deeply afraid. I hope I can trust that. I think I can. And I definitely don't want to go back to the time when I was so afraid I wouldn't say a thing that could lead to conflict, for years.