<p>ⓒ Richard Levitte</p>
http://journal.richard.levitte.org/tags/spirituality/Richard Levitte's journalikiwiki2008-07-06T23:21:28ZStrength of Spirithttp://journal.richard.levitte.org/entries/strength-of-spirit/2008-07-06T23:21:28Z2008-06-05T12:47:14Z
<p><em>[this poem was published on Facebook and is reproduced here
with permission from the author]</em></p>
<p>Every minute<br />
every second<br />
every moment<br />
has made me</p>
<p>Every scar<br />
every tear<br />
every movement<br />
every memory</p>
<p>Looking inwards<br />
outwards<br />
dreaming<br />
awake</p>
<p>This is who I am.</p>
<p>Strengths<br />
Weaknesses<br />
Successes<br />
Failures</p>
<p>All are.</p>
<p>Finding oneself is no more<br />
than how seeing how<br />
you create yourself.<br />
Acceptance is the key.</p>
<p>Open minded<br />
on the base<br />
of my being<br />
Not forgotten<br />
but not ruled by</p>
<p>Strength of spirit<br />
Spirit of strength<br />
Forgive and live.</p>
<p>Life's too short otherwise.</p>
<p><em>-- Laura Mc Donald</em></p>
Dearest friendhttp://journal.richard.levitte.org/entries/dearest-friend/2008-07-06T23:21:28Z2006-03-13T16:51:47Z
<p>We met today, while I took a walk after lunch. I hadn't really
seen you, noticed you, looked at you for months. You have been
hiding away all winter, in the darkness, although you've made
attempts to show yourself again a little now and then, lately. I
was in my own darkness though, so I didn't notice you, maybe even
ignored you as a figment of my imagination.</p>
<p>But today I saw you. I said hello to you. I bathed in your
energy, your light and your love. I opened my arms to you and
bathed in your warm embrace, felt your love. I closed my eyes and
simply felt your touch on my skin and your movement around me. We
almost made love, right there, in the open.</p>
<p>I've missed you and didn't even notice. I wonder, did you miss
me? Was it as sweet a reunion for you as it was for me?</p>
<p>I love you, even thought I know you will be a pain in my head
later on. You are a warm, beautiful, powerful source of life, and I
can only be in awe in your presence. Dear Sun, even though I
sometimes seek the darkness, I will always come back and stand in
your light.</p>
<p>Yours, in love</p>
Going further Pagan?http://journal.richard.levitte.org/entries/2005-01-06-08-53/2008-07-06T23:21:28Z2005-01-06T08:53:00Z
<p>Yesterday, while driving home from changing tapes on my server,
I wasn't really thinking about anything in particular, when several
thoughts connected to heritage and spirituality hit me. The
connection I have to the "Gaulois" through my mom. The connection
I've felt with the ancient Celts and their pagan ways. The fact
that "Gaulois" is just the french word for Gals (through the Roman
word "Gauls"), which is a Celtic group[0]. I could feel like a
thread going from me, through my mom, back through history of
France more than 2000 years, all the way back to the old Celts and
feeling it reinforce the connection I feel with the current
neo-Pagan groups (those I've been in touch with are mostly inspired
by Celtic traditions).</p>
<p>Quite a moment, and I felt like a big <em>thunk</em> in my
heart. I'm now trying to figure out what to do with this. Thoughts
of rediscovering (well, OK, at least reading about) how the Celts
used to live, and especially how their spiritual system really
worked, and see how I can incorporate that in my life. Among the
mysteries is also the views on sexuality, which seems so different
from those coming from Christianity (I've been raised in a
Christian environment, even though I never went to church).</p>
<p>It's interesting, really, that I've been raised in Sweden, lived
there for more or less all my life, and still don't feel as
connected, at least for the moment to the old cultures that existed
here (although I'm interested in the old Viking religion, Asatro, I
don't really feel the same connection with that as I do with
neo-Paganism).</p>
<hr />
<p>[0] There's an interesting discussion on the connection between
the Gauls and the Gaels on <a href=
"http://www.faqfarm.com/History/Irish/8245">http://www.faqfarm.com/History/Irish/8245</a></p>
Another update on lifehttp://journal.richard.levitte.org/entries/2004-09-19-23-53/2008-07-06T23:21:28Z2004-09-19T23:53:00Z
<p>Today, on another forum, two threads appeared, one that
encouraged people to vent the things that were bad in their life,
and another with the good stuff. I've decided to reproduce my two
response here, just for the sake of having my own archive of the
stuff I write.</p>
<hr />
<p>The "bad things" thread:</p>
<p>Oh my, this is quite a thread after coming out of a
mini-depression...</p>
<p>I hate to express myself in terms of hate. It feels like there's
no nuance.</p>
<p>The doctors have just discovered my mom has some kind of lung
sickness, probably the same as her mom, who ended up having lots of
fluids in her lungs. It hit me like a ton of bricks that one of
those who have been there my whole life has suddenly taken a giant
step toward her own death, and I have no idea how to deal with it.
It makes me really sad and it's really hard to realise this.</p>
<p>Quite soon (in a couple of months?), I'm probably going to watch
my son travel away to the other side of the Atlantic, together with
his mother. I know that he's going to have a good time and that
there is stuff over there that he probably needs, and at the same
time, I can't help but feel crushed that we're placing the burden
of our divorce on him even more by giving him parents who are
physically very separated instead of living about 600 meters
(yards) apart. I'm working out the chagrin that I currently feel
within, so I can go past it.</p>
<p>I absolutely hate (there, I said it) that I have been so numb,
so out of touch with my true feelings for so very long (roughly
1990 to last christmas. That's a long time). I hate that I couldn't
express the deep love I now know I can feel, and know I did feel. I
hate that this numbness brought me to say "yes" when there was a
big resounding "NO" deep within me, or even when there was just
disagreement. I hate how I, by consequence, promised things that
weren't grounded in me, that weren't what I wanted to promise. I
hate how I, even further by consequence, broke those promises,
because they weren't really grounded in me.</p>
<p>I hate that I ignored the child within, and let it reign on it's
own or have someone else pamper it or even parent it. I hate that
this still happens. It's my job, damnit!</p>
<p>I strongly dislike (and always have, I just didn't know how to
express it before last spring) when someone wants me to take care
of their inner child, instead of doing it themselves. I've had that
happen with 3 people, one of them being my mom. Having someone else
take care of your inner child does not help, especially yourself!
It doesn't help that inner child grow.</p>
<p>I have an increasing difficulty with people who think their own
perspective of the truth is The Truth, The Whole Truth and Nothing
But The Truth. It leaves no space for the rest of the world. I hate
it when I catch myself doing exactly that.</p>
<p>/Richard</p>
<p>P.S. interesting how I can express hate about my own
stuff...</p>
<p>P.P.S. it feels good having expressed all this. THANK YOU!</p>
<hr />
<p>The "unrant" thread:</p>
<p>Great thread!</p>
<p>I love my son Jacob. I love the way he laughs and runs into my
arms, almost tackling me down, each time I pick him up from dagis
and sometimes from his mom. I love the way he can melt into a hug
with me. I love watching him play. I love his very apparent joy for
life.</p>
<p>I love my cat Kattie (I didn't name him! ). I love the way he
curls up on my lap or on my tummy, especially when I need it the
most. I love how he suddenly gets a burst of wilderness in him
around 11pm. I love him for being so patient with Jacob.</p>
<p>I really enjoy this new path of growth and increased
spirituality that I'm walking, slowly finding my way to understand
the world beyond the immediately apparent and to feel love for and
connection with everyone and everything. Some day, I'll even be
able to love myself fully.</p>
<p>I love computer programing. It's my art. It's the ultimate
expression of my creativity blended with logic, accuracy and the
feeling that I do the right thing.</p>
<p>I love interacting and being with people. I increasingly throw
myself into groups of people, new situations, new challenges,
things that might ultimately provoke something in my inner core and
help me grow a little bit more.</p>
<p>I sometimes like being alone, just to recapture my life, brood
over something I've been through recently, or just enjoy a little
bit of quiet time.</p>
<p>I love going to the movies once in a while, or going out to eat
in good company.</p>
<p>I love my current companion, for her straightforwardness, for
her awareness that goes beyond what I have experienced (or been
willing to see, perhaps) before, for her accepting what I have to
give (things I didn't even know about) and for what she has to give
me, and for encouraging me to follow the path I'm currently
following.</p>
<p>I love my previous partners, for having wanted to share a few
years with me, even though they have sometimes been very difficult.
They will all be part of my life, forever. I'm deeply grateful to
them all, and especially to Lisa, for everything I've learned and
for the path that they have lead me to.</p>
<p>/Richard</p>