Loved Charlie asked me the a couple of days ago how come I've never been to the pride before, and I guess the true answer is that I've been fairly reclusive, kind of keeping to myself, not really daring to put myself out there in "real life". Here, on text, even though it's far from anonymous, it's easy, I just write and send it out there.

My involvement with polyamory has been with fairly small groups, picknicks with people I know, and that's been enough for me. But I've obviously shyed away from bigger events with lots of people.

Another factor that plays in as well is that bigger events have often degenerated into sales of lots of stuff, and not so much more, and I've been quite disillusioned and have projected that on events I haven't attended. Quite stupid...

Finally, and very selfishly, I haven't felt a personal need to push myself out and show myself, I've just felt the need to live my life as I see fit without bothering if anyone sees me or not.

So I guess this is another change, I'm throwing myself out there, taking part in an event like this, belonging, taking a stand for who I am and what I believe in. Still in small steps, my goal for this year is to experience it as a consumer and helper, and will perhaps be more forward in my involvement next year. That's my plan at least. Putting myself out there.

I might figure out more as time goes...

Cheers!