In the last couple of days, I've experienced a shift in myself. I've found a new level of appreciation for Eva, and the love that I experienced less than a week ago has... well, not diminished per se, but become less important in comparison.

While such a shift makes the choice between polyamory and my current relationship less conflictuous in the moment, it doesn't really resolve the issue. This kind of event will repeat itself over and over until it gets resolved in a truly viable way where everyone is satisfied. It still requires the exact same work that's going on right now.

I guess it has become much bigger than just a momentary flash of love. It's becoming a deep decision if I go the path of poly life or not for an extended period of time, and what I do with the polyamory that does exist in me. This will require something that takes care of that part of me for real, not just a suppression of what's inside me, which is obviously what I did until a week ago.

This is interesting work. Hard as hell, but also deeply rewarding, I can already feel it today.

I have a friend who says "monogamy is broken", and I agree with her at some level. The interesting thing is that you can as well say that "polyamory is broken", for similar reasons. It entirely depends on what choices you make in life, and how well those choices work with who you are. In the end and in the big picture, none of them is broken, they're just a choice you make for yourself.