Oh Father
How is it possible
to just leave your children
with not a backward glance?

She's written those words, not meant for me,
and yet, they touch my heart directly.
For I had considered exactly this, but a few days ago.

It was part of a crisis, an emotional one.
I wanted to just give up, for it seemed
like I would always have to use claws and teeth
just to have my son in my life, for just a little bit.

I had considered to back off, to leave, to turn my back,
thinking maybe that's what the mother wants.
I had considered to back off, to leave, to turn my back,
for maybe this continuous dispute is bad for him.
I had considered to back off, to leave, to turn my back,
for I was tired of fighting over him.

As I was sitting with him at the dinner table,
looking at him, imagining this could be a last time,
I had a vision of an older man, who had stopped smiling.
No happiness no more... no life.
Just walking along the paths of Råcksta,
silently weeping at the memories of a little boy.

I cried.

I sit here now,
crying at the memory of those thoughts and that vision.
"How is it possible?" she wrote...
No, it is not.

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